Two pacifiers and a puzzle piece

Why children sleeping in the marital bed is not a good permanent solution

The title describes my finds this evening before my own bedtime: A puzzle piece, at least made of cardboard and not wood – which slightly increases the comfort factor when lying on it – and two pacifiers found under the covers in bed. Of course, my daughter has a third one in her mouth. Both kids are asleep and I’m looking for my comfort zone.

When I’m not being poked by a puzzle piece, if I ever want to sleep myself, other factors are a hindrance: feet between the ribs, the child’s head under the armpit (“Why am I sweating like this?!”) or, Daniel’s favorite, a warm diaper on his face.

Mini 1 at least manages to stay in bed most of the time and not fall out. There is definitely a home advantage here, because this happens more often in unfamiliar beds away from home.

And lying down itself sometimes happens in the wildest positions: Considering that two adults can normally easily fit in a 1.80-meter-wide bed, it becomes difficult with another person in the visitor’s crack (which we don’t have). You could also call Mini 1 a spacer. After all, when the sleeping meter child turns 90 degrees, one of us automatically gets head and one gets feet. Almost like a coin toss – heads or tails. Except that in the child variant, somehow both options are uncomfortable and don’t leave us much of just that space as parents and actual top dogs.

So why do we let the kid sleep in the marital bed with us?

For one thing, it’s because of our space situation. Mini 2 goes to sleep earlier and that’s a matter of 5 minutes. Diaper, brush teeth, bottle, sleep: done

Mini 1’s bedtime ceremony, on the other hand, is: changing, arguing, bottle, dictating about the right toothbrush, arguing about who brushes, bedtime story, negotiating a second story, turning off the light (but not all the way!), picking out color from the remaining light, and finally stroking backs until Madame falls asleep. – If we did all that in the same room where our son is already blissfully slumbering, the peace would be gone. So with only one nursery at the moment, we don’t have much choice but to put our little daughter to bed with us. (However, we are currently creating a remedy for this – see Baublog).

I wonder how well it will work in the new house with the change… Our declared goal is finally to let our double bed be a double and not a triple bed again and to be able to sleep through the nights.

Side note

Memorable day and early Christmas present 2022 in terms of sleeping children: both children slept through the night at the same time for the very first time. – Malicious tongues claim that parents only return to a normal sleep rhythm after about six years. From the youngest child, mind you. Pah, not with us!

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